The real story of the 5K

What Regina failed to tell you is that she beguiled me into joining in the running of the 5K. What started out as a friendly get together to run a little ended up as a fierce competition. I prepared for the race by drinking several Thomas Kempers eating way too much bacon and not seriously running for about 15 years. My whole goal that day was to show up my friend Todd. We both showed up with our headphones, MP3 players and running shoes. I even wore my shirt from the gym I work at thinking that it would help make me a super athlete. After the first few laps I quickly realized that all my preparation failed to make me a better runner. While I did finish in 34:30 it paled in comparison to Todd’s 25:00 time. Apparently there is something to that whole training thing he has going.
The real shock came the next day. I woke up as a spry 34 year old trapped in a 173 year old body. I have never hurt so much in my life. Here we are three days later and I still can’t squat down without wincing in pain. So I am here giving props to all of the women who completed the 5K (including the pregnant ones) and were still able to walk uprightly the next day.
Job