Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Be a Good Boy...or it'll hurt ya
So for those of you who don't know, Jōb had four sons and three daughters, twice! That's a big fam. We have two sons. I wouldn't mind three sons but Jōb is good with two so we are consequently both good with two (but that's an entirely different blog entry). On Sunday evening a good friend of ours, after playing quite the impressive practical joke, came over for a visit with his wife, family and a pan of brownies. We then also saw him the next night at a birthday party for a different friend (who we gave ten lovely ears of corn to). Near the end of the party our youngest turned to our friend (the one with the brownies, not the corn), who happens to be acting Bishop in our church congregation right now, and said that he wanted to play at his house with his daughter. He said if he wasn't a good boy he couldn't come over and play. Upon hearing that my sweet, little angelic child stated, "Well if you aren't a good boy I'll kick you in the nuts!" I am telling anyone that is listening- "Do NOT let your children watch America's Funniest Home Videos." It is the downfall of the American child.
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As a party that witnessed the exchange, I feel that it is my responsibility to speak out in defense of America's Funniest Videos (hereafter referred to as AFV). AFV and Tom Bergeron never actually say "nuts" in that context. Its actually part of a sequence called "Head, Gut, or Groin". Notice that groin is the term of choice and that it only encompasses 1/3 of the possibilities. So I can only assume that 66% of AFV is suitable for children to watch.
Here then is my plan of action. Tivo the episode and fast forward through the commercials thereby eliminating 20% of the viewing time, send your kids to bed before they announce the winner, thus eliminating another 10% of the time they watch and presto you have limited the possibility that they would see a shot to the groin to a mere 4%. Now who wouldn’t do something if there was only a 4% risk that something bad may happen. I mean really, there is a better chance that I would get attacked by a chicken in my yard than there would be of my kids being harmed by watching AFV.
But really who am I to say?
Job
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