last summers decoupage dilemma

After a few requests, I have decided to share the odd story of last summer. Yes, in fact I did glue my pants and underwear to my butt. In a bizarre accident involving a thrift store find, craft paper, mod podge and a rare sunny Seattle afternoon, I made a huge crafting mistake. I was sitting on my front porch decoupaging paper onto an old table I found at an antique/junk store and accidentally spilled the quart sized jar of adhesive. Unknowingly it seeped under my rear end and glued my giant underwear and my yoga pants to my a@#. Not wanting to abandon the project I finished cutting and pasting the paper onto the little table, all the while having decoupaged two layers of fabric to my butt. By the time I stood up and realized what I had done I was in a little bit of a panic. I frantically called my husband, who works 35 miles away. He asked what exactly I thought he could do to help. Oh yeah, and he laughed. Its a good thing I got more than one phone call. I should have called Katie first to begin with but she just told me to get everything wet and see what happens. We spent most of the conversation laughing about a women who had waxed her private parts to the bottom of the tub. I desperately wanted to avoid that situation. My temporary solution: ignore it. And that worked for a while. As I mentioned however it was a rather warm day and sitting out in the sun I had consumed a great deal of water. Within an hour I had to pee. Within an hour and fifteen minutes, I really had to pee. Within an hour and a half I ran into the bathroom and was forced to deal with the problem in a desperate manner. Quick. Like a band-aid. It left a rather large strawberry mark the size of a saucer but in the end, nature had forced me to meet my problem head on (figuratively speaking of course).