Picture Day!

I remember once my mom making me wear the worst outfit ever for picture day. It was a striped turtle neck and brown pants. I'm not talking cute rainbow colors either. It was earthy: rust, mustard, olive, purple. All the way up to my neck in thin little stripes. Millions of them. She pulled my hair back in barrettes on either side but I thought it would be cooler to take just one side down and let it hang in front of my eye. Did I think she wouldn't find out? The pictures came home and I made up a story about one of the barrettes falling out in P.E. or recess, or something. I'll have to ask her if she bought the lie?
Well guess what? Tomorrow is picture day. The boys have their outfits picked out (they like them) and ready to go but what about me? I get my picture taken for the first time as faculty and I have nothing to wear! I started working at the boys elementary school a mile from my house. Though today I hit a little snag regarding office politics, politics in general and a situation with Job (I'm not even sure how I got involved; guilt by association I guess) the job makes me giddy! The kids are great. The teachers are great. My co-workers are a lot of fun to work with. I get to have a lunch date with my 6 year old anytime I want! What could be better? New clothes for picture day I guess. We'll see if I'm any cuter 25 years later. Chances are: no way! Even without the crazy stripes and colors.

Attitude Adjustment Anyone?

Last Friday Job spent the evening helping a friend of ours at his condo in Seattle. I stayed home with the boys. This Friday, Job's place of employment caught on fire. I stayed home with the boys. I, as a result, missed a friends baby shower, that I really wanted to be at. So, I get that Job couldn't help that there was a fire. And being a property manager it is his job to take care of events such as that, but I needed out of the house- sans children. Instead I stayed up watching way to many episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC and woke up cranky. This morning Job is helping friends of ours gut and repair after a broken pipe wreaked havoc on their home. What an example of service he is. I on the other hand- still cranky, and I wish I weren't. Any ideas on adopting a better attitude?

total incommunicado

On Monday my sweet husband brought me home a treadmill! I am hoping this will be my method of keeping up the running through the winter. Yes, winter comes early in the pacific northwest. In doing so he took out our telephone line. He snapped it like Indiana Jones and his whip right across our front lawn with a giant Penske moving truck. The phone company said that they could get it repaired by Thursday at 5:30 p.m. It is Friday morning and no sign of the phone company. As many of you might know we are the last of a dieing breed. Practically extinct. Job and I every day hear the lovely tone of dial-up Internet. Many of you older readers may remember that electronic screeching sound that came with dial-up, but never would I have thought I would have missed that hideous noise. Then last night, after an amazing experience in Bellevue with a group of incredible women, I left my cell phone in Job's car. So, if anyone wants to contact me, TOO BAD! And, hopefully, when I get the call back about the job interview I have this afternoon, she'll leave a message!

Sometimes, I Just Need Time To Process

Its been a wile since my last post but so many odd things have happened I'm not quite sure where to start. And by "odd" I don't necessarily mean bad (though maybe I do)...I just mean overwhelming in strange sort of way. These events have been too numerous over the past two weeks to write a narrative on each one so I'm going to list them and you can look forward to hearing about some of them in detail at a later date.

• I took my niece to a midnight book opening where I was surrounded by more teenage girls than I knew what to do with. I referred to it in a text message to Job as "teenpalooza"
• Drove 12 hours to visit my sister in Idaho with my entire fam
• Read a smutty teenage vampire book (750 pages worth) that I didn't particularly enjoy, but after staying up till midnight to get it with a "million" teenage girls at Borders I was going to finish it out of principle
• Did a speed tour of Old Faithful
• Took my kids on long walks in 90 degree weather in a somewhat unfamiliar town out of fear that they were annoying other people at my sister's house
• Found out that Pocatello Idaho builds houses on a complete foundation of rocks and boulders, making for long hours laying sprinkler pipe
• Came to the realization that my swimsuit (from last year) makes me look ridiculous and like I'm seventy years old (I left it in the trash can at Lava Springs)
• Got lost on the way home from Idaho
• Almost hit a deer on the way home from Idaho
• Were almost in a head on collision on the way home from Idaho
• Got pulled over for speeding after getting lost on the way home from Idaho
• Got home from Idaho at 1:30 a.m. a mere 12 hours before the family reunion invasion
• Had over 20 people camping in my backyard for a family reunion- IT RAINED
• Had 20+ people move into my tiny house due to rain at the family reunion
• found out my sister in law eloped (but not a true elopement) to the bishops back yard to a guy we'd never met at the family reunion
• "HEY KIDS! MEET UNCLE MATT!"
• Had crying relatives at the family reunion
• I offended people at the family reunion
• We picked trash, dirty diapers, and left over stuff out of our yard for three hours after the family reunion (now Job is offending family) two trailer loads of stuff pulled out of the back yard
• Took my niece to get our smutty teenage vampire books signed and realized my sisters dog chewed my copy, stood in line a really long time, but the music was cool and the author was chubby! She even had cellulite! Go chubby girls!
• Took the boys on a hike up a mountain- realized when we got down I had picked one of the hottest days of the summer!

Its been a great couple of weeks. Oh, and did I mention, I gained 4 pounds through all of this! There's the cherry on top. If there is any one bulleted item you would like to hear about let me know. I'll do my best to get it posted!

Still Obese- Geese Louise

I have lost a lot of weight. Close to 150 pounds. I was told that the average woman in America is a size 14. I'm feeling pretty average by this standard. The other day I signed up for SparkPeople (an online health tracking website) and in entering my data I was informed I am still obese. If I loose 3-4 pounds I'll be in the overweight category. Is anyone in this blasted country want to join me in the "happy to be overweight category?" The only upside to this revelation is that after my discovery I ran a 5K in 32 minutes 5 seconds. Oh, Happy Day!

Back From Camp!

Okay, its official. I love women. Not in a "don't ask don't tell" kind of way, but in a strong sense of sisterhood type way! I am back from a week of girls camp (girls age 12-16) and while I love those girls my favorite moments were spent around the camp fire with the other leaders talking, laughing and yes stealing cake into the wee hours of the morning. I will share some of the highlights: dropping the beanie I had to wear every night to prevent hypothermia into the toilet at 2:30 in the morning and laughing with the camp nurse so hard the neighboring camp leaders came and got mad at us, offering a bishop stolen cake at 1a.m. and finding out it was his cake I stole in the early morning kitchen raid (then lieing about my identity), having my hair braided and nails painted in the camp "lounge" by the girls and lastly having my high councilor return my pants to my husband at church after his wife accidentally took them home! It was a great week of silliness and laughter. I am glad Job and his sister were able to hold down the fort and allow me the opportunity!

The real story of the 5K

What Regina failed to tell you is that she beguiled me into joining in the running of the 5K. What started out as a friendly get together to run a little ended up as a fierce competition. I prepared for the race by drinking several Thomas Kempers eating way too much bacon and not seriously running for about 15 years. My whole goal that day was to show up my friend Todd. We both showed up with our headphones, MP3 players and running shoes. I even wore my shirt from the gym I work at thinking that it would help make me a super athlete. After the first few laps I quickly realized that all my preparation failed to make me a better runner. While I did finish in 34:30 it paled in comparison to Todd’s 25:00 time. Apparently there is something to that whole training thing he has going.
The real shock came the next day. I woke up as a spry 34 year old trapped in a 173 year old body. I have never hurt so much in my life. Here we are three days later and I still can’t squat down without wincing in pain. So I am here giving props to all of the women who completed the 5K (including the pregnant ones) and were still able to walk uprightly the next day.
Job