Tuesday’s Detour

I don’t usually enjoy the fall.  It brings winter. But yesterday I had a peaceful moment that brought a little bit of “calm” to my anxiety laden life.

Yesterday I was forced to take a detour on highway 203 between Duvall and Monroe.  I was heading home. It was beautiful.  I am not sure I can write the reasons: maybe the river, the trees still holding on to their leaves, the farms that dot the valley, the sunshine that allowed me to drive with the window down, the quiet that I usually dread was even a comfort to me.  It was one of those brief moments that become a memory though you aren’t even sure why.  It was a beautiful addition.  I want to drive the detour again just to repeat the feeling of calm and contentment I felt but I am afraid it wouldn’t be the same.

However, when I got home I began thinking about my detour and a little bit of guilt set in.  You see, the detour was in place due to a fatality accident.  I even saw the ambulance come into Monroe with lights on but no speed behind it.  As if its passenger didn’t seem to be bothered by how quickly it made it to Valley General.  The drivers took the curves with caution but no urgency  accompanied this leg of the journey.

I wish I could have given some of the peace I felt to the family finding out about their loss.  I know what its like, and I would have traded them: their pain for my moment of serenity.  I wouldn’t have had it in the first place right? Its a shame their beautiful day would be scarred and mine still remain lovely.  I pray they find solace, if not in that day in another soon.

Morning Breath- PeeYew

This weekend Gram Cracker a.k.a. Grandma Jam came for a visit and everyone stayed up way too late.  I crawled in bed Sunday morning with my smallest snuggle buggle and cozied right up to wake him up.  He turned around to kiss my cheek and I was immediately blown away by the worst smell I have smelled in a really long time.  His Breath! I told him he had bad breath and to not breathe on me and he replied, “I sleep with my mouth open you know.  Something must have crawled in there.”  Yeah, crawled in there and died!

First Day Jitters- In Grad School? Aren’t I too old for that?

I use to walk into a classroom and immediately scan the room to see if I was the fattest person in the room.  Tomorrow I start my masters in teaching program at City University.  While I will never be the smallest person in the room, after loosing over 150#, I usually am not the largest.  Now I am worried about being the oldest.  I graduated 13 years ago.  I had a great career and did a lot of helpful things with my population of chronically mentally ill adults.  I can honestly say I was a good counselor.  Most of my clients liked me (a few in an inappropriate way), and I genuinely and appropriately liked some of them.  Some I did not.  And then I was afforded the privilege of staying home with my two boys.  I had envied the mom’s who were able to stay home and I loved it, and the boys, as I had my turn as a stay at home mom.

Last year when my youngest started first grade I worked at the school.  I loved every minute of it.  One of my supervisors told me I was a “natural born teacher.”  Another told me I did my job perfectly.  However, I did not receive a renewed contract this year.  The outrage and and calls and cards from the other teacher was comforting and, after getting over that blow I got my ducks in a row and decided to go back to school.

Lately I have been questioning that decision.  I have a perfectly good education.  Is it wasteful to not use the one I already have?  Am I being greedy?  It isn’t like I jumped into this decision.  All the usual thinking, praying and planning took place.  I even ordered all my textbooks, made a really cute if not giant tote bag to carry all my stuff, and have committed every Saturday for what seems an eternity to complete this desire and goal. 

A good friend of ours and local city council woman gave Job a book the other day.  She is genuinely nice and has done right by the citizens who entrusted her with their vote.  But anyway, in the book, Job read me a quote by one of our favorite American Patriots Benjamin Franklin (and it surprisingly has not even one animal reference).  He read it to me as I was anxiously contemplating my upcoming first day of school:

“I think, moreover, that the talents for the education of youth are the gift of God; and that he [or she] on whom they are bestowed, whenever a way is opened to use them, is as strongly called as if he [or she] heard a voice from heaven…”

I feel better.  We’ll see how tomorrow goes.  Thanks Job for your support, and Benjamin for the reassurance.

e-bay seller e_middleman SUCKS!

I got duped.  On Saturday I start my masters program at City University.  In preparation for two years of coursework, student teaching and a dissertation, I bought a new Laptop.  It is larger than our old one and I needed to get a new sleeve to keep its shiny red exterior in good condition!  I found a great deal on e-bay.  Almost too good to be true and it said “free shipping in the U.S.” on top of everything.  Even before I won the bid I had seen what I had done.  I didn’t look in all the shipping areas and while it said free at the bottom of the description when you clicked further into the site it charges $14.99.  The cover, I am guessing weighs less than 8 oz.  I knew immediately I’d been scammed.  I emailed e-middleman, who I am now guessing stole an entire box of these off the back of a truck somewhere, to clarify his “error.”  His e-mail back was rude!  He told me I got a $50 dollar item for $16 and should basically suck it up.  He  is right.  I just hate the fact that I did business with someone so unethical.  I would have rather gone to the dell site and paid $35 +s/h for the cute polka dot one than have spent one dime on any item he had to sell!  As soon as I get confirmation of shipping I am giving him bad feedback and reporting him to e-bay.  e_middleman sucks!

Prostitutes and Peach Pie

when the prostitutes stole Job’s wallet after the purchase of our house in Delaware fell through, we stayed with the Laus. Dan Lau was to be our new bishop. We had never met them before and in fact they were on vacation when they heard about our “homeless” situation.  They offered us their amazing home without ever meeting us.  One of their friends met us on their doorstep with the key.  When they came home from vacation to meet the family of four residing in their lovely abode I was so nervous.  But they put us at ease and I felt like I was part of the family.  We were there about a total of three weeks until Job could get new identification and such.  We moved into a basement apartment just a short distance from them.  We stayed in Delaware exactly one year to the day before we high tailed it home, not really giving the place a complete chance or our best effort. 

This morning I made a peach pie.  It is Bishop Laus favorite.  His daughters made him one while we were there as a surprise after work one evening.  Sue Lau had ordered peaches from a farmer up in Lancaster county.  For some reason she decided to get other peaches from someone else.  Because it would be the right thing to do she drove to the first farmer (quite some distance away) and told him she wouldn’t be buying his peaches and to not hold them aside for her.  She also helped a friend with several small little ones can salsa.  The table by the end of the day was covered with beautiful jars of salsa.  The Laus son lived down the road from them a ways.  Rob had Job help him do some remodel work in his home.  I ‘m sure he knew as students we could use the extra money and more importantly Job needed a friend.  That is what made Delaware even harder; leaving our friends and family.  At Christmas I am sure it was them that left presents on our doorstep for the twelve days  before Christmas.  Among other things, we still have the Caesar Rodney ornament.  It is cherished.

In one week I canned salsa with a friend, ordered peaches from a local farmer, am in the process of retiling the basement, and like I said I have my first homemade peach pie in the oven.  I have been thinking about about the Lau family.  I can’t help but wonder if they remember us.  They made such a huge impact on our lives.  Our family is better because of them.  I miss their friendship and want to be more like the Laus.

Job’s Walk of Shame

This summer I ran out of gas.  Twice.  In the same spot.  In the same week.  The first time the boys and I walked down to the gas station, bought a small gas can, bought some gas, walked back, put it in the car, then drove back to the gas station to top off the tank.  The second time, I called Katie.  I would have called her the first time but she was in Alaska, or at the airport.  Either way she wasn’t sitting home waiting to bail me out of trouble.  She drove to my house grabbed a giant gas can with so little gas in it that I couldn’t get it tipped up at an angle that would actually pour the gas anywhere but all over my brand new Keens.  They are red and look like Mary Janes and are super cute.  Did I mention I was in a skirt? Finally I thought I had actually gotten enough gas into the tank to get me the 1/4 mile to the gas station but no.  I ran out about 20 feet away.  I did eventually get the car to the gas station and later to the mall.  Katie laughed.  Job thought about taking away my car keys but settled for mass humiliation.

This afternoon Job called me.  He said, “you can’t guess what I just did!” But I could.  I knew immediately that he had run out of gas in the mommy car.  Funny though, now he is insistent that the gas gauge is faulty.  I think the only thing faulty is our ability to stay on top of things.

Mini Dreams

I don’t mean to seem ungrateful for the FREE loaner car…but does anyone want to help me convince Job that $95/day to rent a mini cooper is a good…uh…investment?